Set standards

Just a heads-up to men in the world of online dating: If you’re 40 and you’re “seeking females 18-34,” I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’re a tool.

Same thing applies if you post a picture of yourself with a Hooters girl, list sex as one of your favorite activities, or send me an e-mail that says nothing more than “You should get on IM to chat” (um, nice to meet you too). Automatic no.

Other than filtering out THOSE guys, it’s been a lot of fun so far.

I will not be writing about my dating experiences here, at least not in any specific terms. That’s private, and although I share a lot of private things, I am pretty careful to restrict them to MY private things. Just because someone wants to go out with me doesn’t mean he wants his business posted online for all to see. So that’s where I’m drawing the line. That said, I’m having a grand time, feeling empowered, and enjoying learning about how to date post-college.

Best random impulse decision I’ve made in a long time. I highly recommend it!

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Get back in the game

Well, I did the unthinkable. I joined an online dating site.

It was a total whim, to tell you the truth. No thought or consideration whatsoever went into this decision. There I was, minding my own business, surfing the interwebs, drifting about at random on the information superhighway, when a banner ad for OkCupid popped up in my peripheral vision. I have a couple of friends who are on OkCupid, and they’ve met some interesting people and gone on some fun dates as a result. And, hey, it’s free.

Annnnnnd it was 10:00 at night, and I was bored.

So I clicked the ad, thinking I would just look around and see what the whole thing was about. But no sightseeing was allowed! The link took me directly to a page where the only possible options were “sign up for OkCupid” and “exit this page,” and in a blur of uncharacteristic impulsiveness, I entered a username and password. Continue reading

Confess

I am kind of irritated with myself, and I’ll tell you why.

I’ve recently formed the bad habit of complaining about being single, and it needs to STOP. This has been escalating for a few weeks, And I just can’t stand to hear myself do it any more. Like, today after church I was talking with some friends and the topic of dating came up. As I heard some stupid whiny thing come out of my mouth for the millionth time, I nearly gagged at my own gross attitude. (Thank you, friends who were there, for not slapping me. You are nice.). Continue reading

Love

Here’s what’s up with Valentine’s Day:

I know people get all snooty about it and say it’s a stupid Hallmark holiday, and maybe it is.

But I like it. It’s good to love people, and to tell them you love them. And to make big fancy gestures, or even small gestures that you think are stupid at the time.

Tonight I went out for dinner with these funny, smart, beautiful women. We talked and laughed a lot, and probably had a better time than most of the couples at the restaurant. Continue reading

Crush

Let’s talk about boys.

Slip into your favorite PJs, grab some nail polish, and gather ’round, ladies, ’cause I’m about to spill the beans on who’s on my mind these days.

You’ll notice that this is an all-celebrity list, and that’s because there seem to be no eligible bachelors in the whole freaking city of Spokane. Or at least, they’re not at the places I frequent. Or if they are, they never speak to me.

But a girl’s gotta find someone to crush on, especially when she’s been single for ten months (WOO!) and there seem to be no prospects whatsoever in her immediate future.

So here’s my list:

1. Marcus Mumford.

Why? Because I’m a sucker for a poet, and a guy with a guitar, but ESPECIALLY a guy with a mandolin (!), plus he hosts a book club on the Mumford & Sons web site. Which is SO AWESOME. No, he’s not the most attractive guy on this list, but I’m betting that given enough time together, we’d figure it out. Continue reading

Look up

“After the storm I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up.
On my knees and out of luck, I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay, but I won’t rot, I won’t rot.
Not this mind and not this heart, I won’t rot.”

It has been nearly nine months.

Nine life-giving months. Nine months of healing, joy, and renewed strength. Nine months with friends and family who love me. Nine months of straightening my back, bent from carrying too much weight, and learning to walk tall.

I am now living after the storm. Continue reading