What to write?

The news is all bad. All shocking. All impossible to believe or comprehend.

Death is a familiar concept to all who walk this earth. We are aware from early in life that we will one day make our exit. Most of us have at the very least known a distant relative or friend to die, or have watched someone else go through the process of losing a loved one. I have experienced both. But this…this is a completely new experience. I am suddenly shocked at the finality of death. My mind keeps playing over and over the incomprehensible reality that when a person dies, they are no longer here.

“Duh,” I want to tell myself. But really–how can that be? How is it possible that a person who has loved me since my first intake of breath might simply cease to be?

I feel that the planet may stop turning.  It cannot be the same world after he is gone.

I don’t know how to end this. I have no tidy string to wrap it up with; no lessons or conclusions today. I am made up of frayed bits and jumbled pieces. Maybe the lessons will come later.


4 thoughts on “Reel

  1. Delynn, it is an incomparably impotent feeling not to understand something so big and consuming. Humbling, as well to those of us who value understanding. Furthermore, in the face of great loss, it is a unique sign of compassionate humanity that there is no room for a hypothetical “positive side”. The idea is ludicrous.

    What is important is what you do not have to imagine. That is, love. Throughout the words you, your mother, and father have written, and the photos you’ve posted, winds a tenacious, warm love. I have to believe that the whole of that love is even is stronger than the sum of its parts, and that it will endure. That is something.

    You are, by the way, a lovely writer.

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